1) At the mall, you pass two stores. The Gap, and a Software, Etc store. Which one do you enter?

The Gap
Software, Etc
Why the hell would I be at the mall?
Didn't hear the question, was busy doing my hair.

2) A friend wants to buy your Ford Exploder (sic) that, unbeknownst to him, leaks oil and smells like it's burning when you drive it for more than 5 minutes. Do you:

let him find out for himself?
go with full disclosure and let him decide?
refuse to sell the pile of crap to a friend?
conspire to commit insurance fraud with him and smash your two vehicles together, demolishing both and solving several problems at once?

3) Which movie would you rather see?

Star Trek 8: Deep Space Probe
Saving Ryan's Privates
Bill and Ted's Excellent Orgy
Titanic

4) To me, a romantic movie is defined as having:

Lots and lots of nudity
Been downloaded using peer-to-peer filesharing
The feminine lead engaging in adultery
At least one scene with the male lead's nekkid butt

5) You see a famous movie actor walking down the street, same side as you but heading in the opposite direction. You:

Punch him/her in the shoulder and say, "Yo chief, how's it hangin'?"
Puff out your chest and put on your I'm-cooler-than-you face.
Stop the actor and ask for an autograph.
Check to see whether your underwear lines are showing.

6) You're on the road on a multi-hour trip with your significant other. Up ahead you see tons of brake lights and then a state trooper zooms by on the shoulder. Faced with what is certainly a long delay, do you:

Sigh, stay in your lane, and start to worry that you'll miss the start of Buffy if you can't reach the hotel in time.
Start compulsively switching lanes every time it looks like the other one might be moving a teensy bit faster. This provokes an argument with the SO about how if you weren't too cheap to just fly instead, you wouldn't be in this mess.
Move over to the shoulder once the trooper has passed, take the next exit, and figure that since the sun is out you could create a detour along unmarked county roads that will keep you on the original schedule.
Pop your head out the window to survey the scene ahead, then tell your SO not to worry, it doesn't look like the accident is more than 5 miles ahead and you should be past in no time once the fire is out and traffic starts moving again.
Ask your SO to reach into the cooler in the back seat and pass you another brewski.

7) You're standing on the street on a hot day with a drink in hand when your neighbor walks up and starts shooting the breeze with you. Which drink would you prefer to be seen with?

Hard liquor
Fruitopia
Coke
Water

8) You're taking a long trip on the road. Your Spouse has requested a stop at the next available exit. Do you:

Pass multiple exits because they don't have your favorite fast food.
Pass multiple exits because you're not low enough on fuel to stop yet.
Pass multiple exits because you don't have the need to stop yet.
All of the above.
Take the next exit.

9) Regarding your relationship with your co-workers, do you:

Know most of their first names, if you think about it long enough
Know all of their full names (including middle name and childhood nicknames) as well as the names of their spouses, pets, and all children, in addition to numerous intimate details of their personal lives
Don't ask, don't tell
Know their favorite college and sports pro teams and the entire roster of their fantasy sports teams.

10) Do you have:

A penis and testicles
A vagina
Both

11) Someone bumps into you while shopping and when you say, "Excuse Me", they frown and say, "MmmHmmm". You:

Smile.
Walk away.
Disembowel them with a box cutter and do a Bo Jangles impression on their steaming hot entrails.
All of the above.

12) Its Monday night and you're watching television, what's on the tube?

Ally McBeal
Discovery Channel
Monday Night Football
WWF Monday Night Raw
What ever channel currently isn't playing a commercial

13) What computer game would you prefer to be playing:

Wheel of Fortune
MacPlaymate
Doom II
Lemmings
What's a computer game?

14) A few hours ago, you and your friends ate a Mexican feast, and are sitting around together. Inevitably, it's time for some of the byproduct of partialy digested legumes and meat by-products to be expelled. You:

let one rip
do the one cheek sneak and blame the dog
politely excuse yourself and head to the lavatory
hold it, even though the pain is so bad you can no longer speak, so you sit there and smile demurely.

15) What is that shrill buzzing noise?

A call is coming in on the cel phone, and you still haven't figured out how to change the sound to something that isn't completely obnoxious.
The umpteenth !@#% mosquito that got in the house because your barnyard spouse can't remember to shut the arcadia door.
You left your Swanson's Dinner in the Microwave three times longer than ever attempted before and the rotissery is still trying to spin through layers of charred nitrate epoxies.
Your significant other.
N/A. You lost 90% of your hearing by the age of 18 to overamped alternative thrasher rock and the only thing you hear now are muffled grunts. You like Trow.

16) Whilst playing a plesant game of counterstrike and noting that someone is always getting headshots through three walls and has a record of 54-1 do you:

Acuse him of cheating and ask him to please stop.
Realize that the counterstrike community has cheaters and this is to be expected.
Take a screenshot, copy his IP # down and e-mail it to the servers administrators demanding swift satisfaction.
Ask him his mothers maden name, and use such information to track him down at his house, drag him out into the street by his hair, begging and pleading for his life and put a bullet into the back of his skull, all the while screaming "YOU GOT NOTHIN!! YOU GOT NOTHIN!!"
All of the above.


source available here.